Digilaxusphobia

Last night I dreamt a friend had a fear of losing his fingers.  After googling what this meant, I found out losing your fingers is a common theme amongst dreamers who feel they are losing their grip on something.  I am changing the course of things, letting go of some goals to make room for the bigger and better.  For a split second I allowed myself to believe I was letting go of something important to me.  But then I realized it is only because there is no floor and no ceiling to the possibilities open to me now.  There is nothing holding me up but there's also nothing holding me down.  When I was pursuing becoming a professor there was a set path before me.  Apply to grad school and go where they offer me the most money.  Get my doctorate and go where they offer me the most money.  Begin my career as a puffed up optimist out to change the world one student at a time, and probably end it on the same tone.  And although the thought of being a perpetual student engrossed in the world of academia is comforting, I can't help but also take comfort in the uncomfortable.  You always grow more when the road is rocky, and you learn nothing if your path is easy.  So maybe I am letting go of something, something I thought I wanted when no other options presented themselves.  But just you wait when my fingers grasp hold of their new pursuits, and you will know what I know.